The fear of travelling with others. A solo traveller’s perspective.

Solo travel

As a long time solo traveller, I often write or read about overcoming your fears to go it alone. The fear of travelling solo for the first time is very real. Knowing it’s all on you can be overwhelming at times, but once you’ve taken the leap you’ll never look back. What’s that saying once you’ve had ….?

Travelling women
Travelling Friends

Now I’m fearless or am I?

I’ve been incredibly lucky to have had many solo adventures. Some to places that others might not venture on their own. The curse of the solo traveller, is the fear of travelling with others. The fear is real believe you me. It overwhelms you when you’re out with friends and the first mention of “we should plan a trip”, or have you seen this great tour”. My heart starts pumping, I’m ready to faint, please don’t make me do it. It’s not that I don’t love my friends, it’s just that now I am fearful of travelling with them.

Travelling the world
Women travelling

Occasionally on my travels I’ll take a one day tour at the last minute. Although this is usually because I really want to see the destination, it fills me with fear. The thought of not being able to escape, to be somewhat a prisoner locked into a routine, has my heart pumping. Yes the fear is real. Maybe you’re fearsome of not travelling solo too?

Top fears of travelling with others.

I won’t be able to get lost.

This is my very favourite thing to do when I am travelling alone. I get to see places I wouldn’t have seen otherwise. I get to talk to locals and see how they live their everyday lives and I get to find my own way out of pickles.

I’ll have to eat when and what others want to

It took me quite some time to get used to eating on my own. Now I’ll enjoy a meal while people watching. Or just get takeout and sit in a park.

Solo female travel
Going it alone

I won’t be able to get out and about early

One of my favourite times of the day is early morning. I love watching places wake up and seeing people get ready for the day. Heaven forbid I have to sleep in.

My friends will back out of the trip

Travelling alone means I don’t have to worry about people backing out. I can plan where and when I go, and I know I won’t back out.

Other people will make my decisions for me

When you travel alone, your decisions are yours. It’s up to you to stay safe, to decide what your day looks like and if you’d like to stay in bed all day.

I’ll have others choose my accommodation

If I don’t want to spend much money or a lot of money, the choice is mine. I’ve stayed 5 star, in cheap and cheerful and solo in a little tent. It’s up to me.

I won’t be alone

One of the biggest fears most people have of solo travel is being lonely. Life experience has shown me that you can be lonely in the company of others. Travelling alone as a solo female traveller, if I’m feeling I need the company of others, I’ll go where there’s lots of people or have a chat with a stranger. It’s amazing how people want to strike up a conversation with a solo traveller.

No I’m not brave I’m fearful. Fearful of travelling with others. Will you become fearful too?

Happy Travels

@Julie

The fear of travelling with others, a Solo Travellers perspective
Pin me
Pin me

Comments

  1. Josie

    I travel with my husband and my kids. That’s it! I will meet up with selected friends for a couple of days, but more than that and I don’t think I could cope. They just don’t travel the same way I do, and none of us would be happy on a whole trip together!

  2. Karen

    I so get this. Although not a solo I am an introvert traveller so when others are invloved it throws up all sorts for me. Part of the growth that travel inspires.

  3. Phoebe

    It’s been years since I’ve travelled solo as family life has taken over and I love travelling with my kids. But I do get all this and totally see where you’re coming from. Maybe I’ll take a solo trip again one day in the near future and get hooked. My kids will be jealous!

  4. Teja

    I can’t say I’ve become fearful of travelling with others. But I’ve only really started doing it for a couple years. I think it depends on which friends.

    There are some friends, if I’m going out and about with them, I don’t even bother planning my stuff; I’d have to plan it around them, because I am a much more experienced and adventurous traveller than they are. So those trips, are all about being with them, rather than being in the place. But there are a very few friends, and that’s the opposite situation. In fact, I become an even better traveller because of that synergy.

  5. Arunima Dey

    OH I love, love, love this post! I honestly cannot stand travelling with others. Like either they are too lazy, or they want do something that you don’t want to do, and then get offended when you suggeste “maybe we can split up for this” Jeez, I hate it.

  6. sue davies

    I travel mainly with my wife and we are very in synch as travelers. I’ve done business trips and Argentina/Antarctica as a solo traveler. we occasionally travel with friends, but sometimes that’s been a disaster. Interesting to hear about your fears. we feel the same way as you about group travel (except for early morning).

  7. Sue

    I love this perspective! It’s interesting that I agree with everything you’ve said about solo travel & they’re exactly the reasons I love it. However, I’m still always the first to say “yes” when a friend suggests a trip. The experience of meeting people is so much different & often more valuable when travelling solo. Thanks a lot for sharing, great post!

  8. Adventures with Crystal

    YES!! My biggest fear traveling with someone is having to accommodate their sleeping and eating schedule. I’m SO picky and I don’t want to have to change my whims day to day. Would rather stumble upon something fun – get lost like you said! Enjoyed this list very much.

  9. Karen

    Ohh Julie, I know exactly what you mean. Everything in this post rung true with me. I have been stuck with people who wouldn’t ‘unlatch’ themselves which is a nightmare. There are some ‘solo’ travelers out there who don’t want to be on their own and I have found some of them very difficult to shake off.

    I love meeting people but I also like my own time and space. I wouldn’t say traveling makes me selfish, I would say it shows me what I want and what I don’t want. And if I am traveling alone then I only have myself to please.

    I honestly can’t think of any downsides to solo travel. In your post about traveling in your 50’s you said that people are more likely to help as we get older. I agree but I have also found that even when I started my solo traveling at 39 that people were always happy to help.

    Despite my love of solo travel I have two friends who I love to travel with. We like the same things, have known each other forever and traveling with them is like being on my own. To me that is the ultimate compliment.

    And I have a partner who I met whilst I was traveling in Laos. He is also an easy traveler so I have dropped lucky (had I dropped unlucky I wouldn’t be with him!)

    I am glad I have found your website. I will be back for more

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *